Recompense
by grandpa garbage
Summary: In due time, she knew, there would be a chance to piece herself back together.


Wow... disregard anything I say because it's obviously a big fat LIE lmao blinks aggressively my claims in previous a/ns and profile updates

* * *

 **Recompense**

.

It was the end.

There was no point - no point in continuing, no point in lifting her head from the broken gravel, no point in picking up her broken body from the ground.

Her mind was split, one half the racing evil - of 0's and 1's and indiscernible things - the other half a crumbling wall, trying to keep her half sane.

She couldn't move her right arm, as much as she willed it.

She could only watch out of the corner of her eye as it twisted, beyond her control, desperately grasping for something that wasn't there. Grasping for its authority.

It all hurt too much, as the virus sunk in. It spread through her like slow fire, a burn that rendered half of her body useless. She closed her eyes, fighting the sting of tears. She'd been strong for so long, she'd fought for so long - all for naught. She'd surrendered so willingly and let herself collapse, crumbling, erasing any sort of meaning to her life.

"Rin."

Her eyelids fluttered, disturbed. But she ignored the voice.

" _Rin_ ," it said, urgent.

Rin raised her head. She was staring at a pair of roughed up sneakers, eerily familiar.

Her mouth went dry and she lifted her eyes to see his face.

Len gazed down at her, a soft face, but eyes sharp. He was there, in one piece, as if any memory of his downfall was merely a dream. She couldn't speak.

"Stand up," he ordered.

She didn't move. Her weakening body cried out in protest at the thought.

" _Stand up_ ," he repeated.

Hesitating, Rin obeyed. Slow, she pushed herself from the ground with the hand that she still had control over. Her legs wobbled.

She'd been so occupied with controlling her body, willing it to do as Len said, that she didn't realise he'd disappeared. When she looked up, all that was, was the empty, barren landscape of a fallen city, and the biting chill of the wind.

Perhaps Len - real or not - had a point. She'd been so stupid to forget her pledge to do everything to get revenge and make things _right_. The virus, the very thing she was _fighting_ against, was the very thing that was her downfall.

Rin knew that giving in such a way would not do.

Her vision was deteriorating, one of her eyes seeing into nothing but binary and blackness. She gritted her teeth, acknowledging the problem, and took note of what sacrifice she had to make next.

She lifted her abled hand to her opposing shoulder, digging her fingers into soft flesh. She kept digging, digging until her nails broke the skin and tore into her joints, of cold metal and wires, as machine destroyed machine. She had to get rid of the main source of the virus - _she had to fight_.

She had to do it - for Len.

As pain paralysed her, Rin recalled his soft eyes and smile, from a time that seemed long ago, but wasn't very far gone at all.

It hurt to pull herself apart like this. But sacrifices had to be made; of course, the pain of her loss made self-destruction cower like a deer in headlights.

Her mind began to clear as she broke those last few connections. With a metallic thud, her hand fell to the ground, now lifeless - no source of power to feed from.

In due time, she knew, there would be a chance to piece herself back together.

But for now, she had to win this war.

Rin gathered what little strength she had left, and turned to the tower in the distance. She knew where she had to go.

Closing her eyes, she descended the slope of a ruined suburbia - aware of the sensation that someone, somewhere out there was smiling down at her.

* * *

FYI I changed my name so if you're like "umm who is this person?" just like... you'll see. mmmHmm.

anyway grandpa garbage doesn't have any special meaning obviously it was just a result from an aesthetic generator bc I forgot the good name idea I came up with (so if it changes again I've remembered the name, but uhh it seems too far gone now tbh...)

anyway grandpa is more suitable than Cursed Name bc:

* my immune system is a mess  
* mumbles sinus infection or tumour? (whoknows)  
* my back always hurts  
* im so fCUking Bliidn  
* wrinkles on my forehead  
* knows a lot of useless facts  
* ulcers  
* i get really grumpy and complain a lot when im tired

-Not that I plan to fanfic very much because I jUst DonT HavE tIme between like 12 subjects and an hour commute to-and-from university every day lolool I Love waking up at 6am because I am SO DAMN FUNCTIONAL IN THE MORNING _please help my grades are going to suffer i've already confused the kanji for running as the kanji for walking on my test and these are kanji i've known for like two years_

But like I suffer for the good stuff bc hey I'm living in Japan and I'm spending ALL OF MY RENT/INSURANCE/ETC. MONEY ON FOOD, CLOTHES and RIN KAGAMINE. gotta get the staples. So, yeah, no time, this is me just droppin a bomb and then nyo0ming off back to the safety of my phone apps uwu owo XD follow me on instagwammu :3ccccc send me money XDDD

 **OK SO, actual relevant story stuff,** this story was loosely based off wanopo(? i think lol- _fake fan_ )'s virus resistance series which is some gude shit but like... yeah. ok. do robots feel pain? DO ROBOTS EVEN HAVE THOUGHTS? this entire thing is a mess I just wanted to write something because I haven't written/completed anything in months-ish and anything I do write is just me being a bitter shit.

Oh and people think I'm still trying to die because of my other Old fanfics' author notes and like yeah OK I'm very gomen for all of my shit but I'm pretty stable. No concern pls. Have not self harmed... recently. Although I get those intrusive AF thoughts when I'm waiting for the train in the morning to throw my body in front of the limited express train, it's just like a normal thing, like the "throw your phone into the river, no reason why just do it" stuff. I am learning to Deal. With Things. and My Anxiety. Is A Bad Bitch. but I'm an EVen Badder Bitch who cries at cute animal videos so.

TBFH, I've just been living off reminding myself that everything will be 大丈夫 for the past few months, because even when a time is significantly difficult/sad/stressful/painful, I know that by some miracle it will, indeed, eventually be Okay. if not, I'll make it ok with my bare hands bc I need to take the wheel sometimes doot doot im running u binches over

anywAy it's regrettably 1am, and I'm kind of sick again for the UpTeenTh Time this year, and I gotta zoom zoom to pay rent, do chores and go to dinner in Shibuya tomorrow, i send my love from pari to everyone except len kagamine xoxoxo


End file.
